Holding Space for Grief and Joy This Holiday Season
Grief can be unpredictable, especially during the holiday season. With three out of five Americans reporting that their mental health takes a hit this time of year, it’s worth reflecting on how grief might show up—and how we can navigate it.
Grief often manifests in physical, emotional, and behavioral ways. Some common signs include:
Fatigue
Body aches
Changes in appetite (loss of appetite or overeating)
Difficulty concentrating
Memory issues
Increased impulsivity
Irritability or anger
Guilt
Numbness
Isolation or clinginess
Changes in sleep patterns (insomnia or excessive sleeping)
Questioning your beliefs or seeking deeper meaning around your loss
It’s important to remember that grief isn’t linear or consistent. One year, the holidays might feel manageable, and the next, they might hit you harder than expected. I experienced this firsthand about a decade after my mother passed away. I’d made it through several holiday seasons with relative ease, but one year, grief suddenly surfaced, leaving me overwhelmed and struggling to connect with family. It was a stark reminder that grief doesn’t follow a timetable or play by any rules.
Given its unpredictable nature, it’s helpful to have a plan—just in case grief arrives unannounced, like an uninvited guest at your holiday table.
Practical Strategies for Managing Grief During the Holidays
Here are some actionable tips to help you navigate this season with compassion and care:
Set Healthy Boundaries at Home and Work – Give yourself permission to say no to events or obligations that feel overwhelming.
Prioritize Downtime – Allow space to recharge, whether through quiet moments alone or low-pressure activities.
Incorporate Gentle Exercise – Activities like walking or yoga can help ease tension and improve emotional balance.
Practice Deep Breathing – Simple breathwork techniques can reduce stress and promote calmness.
Address Changes in Appetite:
If you’re not feeling hungry, try small, nutritious meals throughout the day.
If overeating is a concern, practice mindful eating to reconnect with your body’s hunger cues.
Break Tasks into Smaller Steps – Manage overwhelm by tackling one thing at a time.
Use a Planner or Journal – Writing things down can help organize your thoughts and daily tasks.
Stay Present with Mindfulness – This can help with memory issues and improve focus.
Replace Impulsive Actions with Grounding Activities – Techniques like sensory grounding or simple physical tasks can help you regain control.
Practice Forgiveness and Self-Compassion – Be gentle with yourself during this time.
Reach Out to Loved Ones – Make small, intentional efforts to connect, even if it’s just a phone call or text.
Build Confidence in Being Alone – Explore self-soothing techniques, mindfulness practices, and journaling to find comfort in solitude.
Honor Your Loss – Create meaningful rituals or embrace new traditions that bring peace and significance to the season.
Create Space for Open Conversations – If you have children, encourage honest and age-appropriate discussions about grief and emotions.
Schedule Time to Process Your Feelings – Dedicate intentional moments for reflection, whether it’s journaling, talking to a friend, taking a quiet walk, or lighting a candle in remembrance.
A Final Word
Grief during the holidays is deeply personal, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. But by tuning into your needs and practicing self-compassion, you can navigate this season with grace and resilience.
If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for support—whether that’s from friends, family, or a professional counselor. You don’t have to carry the weight of grief alone.
Remember: It’s okay to feel joy, sadness, or even a mix of both. Honor where you are and give yourself permission to experience the holidays in a way that feels authentic to you.