Don’t Miss This Crucial Step in Your Grief Journey
I Missed a Step…
Working with clients to help them release the pain of grief has taught me something vital: there’s a critical step many of us overlook after the initial healing. And I’ll admit it—I missed it too.
Once you’ve freed yourself from the suffocating grip of loss, it’s tempting to move forward as if you’re the same person you were before. But here’s the truth: you’re not. Significant loss changes us, often in profound ways. Ignoring this transformation can lead to missteps that hurt not only ourselves but those around us.
For me, this realization came after processing years of grief—from the loss of my life partner, my parents, other beloved relatives, and the end of a 23-year marriage. I thought that healing my heart meant I was ready for love again. What I didn’t realize was that grief had reshaped me. I hadn’t paused to understand the person I had become before stepping into a new relationship.
I carried forward the mindset of my former self, unaware of how my perspective on life had shifted. I’d developed a deeper appreciation for life’s fragility, which also left me with little patience for trivial concerns—like arguments over bills or household chores. At the same time, I became more attuned to the needs of those I love, sometimes to the point of overcompensating.
Grief had also strengthened my bonds with family and friends who supported me in my darkest moments, making those connections more precious than ever. Yet, despite all this growth, I hadn’t taken the time to get to know the new me. As a result, I entered a new relationship unsure of how to navigate it—unsteady, unsure, and still figuring out who I had become.
That wasn’t fair—to him or to me.
Don’t skip this crucial step in your grief journey.
Before moving forward, take the time to meet the new you. Sit with yourself. Get to know your values, sensitivities, strengths, and vulnerabilities. Reconnect with your dreams, hopes, and vision for the future. Ask yourself:
What does my heart truly need now?
How do I want to show up in relationships?
How do I want to show up in the world?
Grief changes us. But embracing that change is how we grow.
If you’re struggling with this step, know that you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to help you navigate this beautiful, transformative journey. Reach out when you’re ready—I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
From my heart to yours,
Monet