We Must Rethink Outdated Bereavement Policies
Every person will experience the loss of a loved one at some point during their life and yet research shows that most companies lack impactful bereavement policies. Employees are left feeling unsupported, misunderstood and often hurried into returning to work before they are ready.
According to the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) while 88% of businesses offer paid bereavement leave, they typically only extend from three days to a more ‘generous’ five days. An even shorter amount of time is offered for friends and extended family, without consideration for individual relationships.
While there are no federal laws guiding or requiring employers to provide bereavement leave, paid or unpaid, companies are faced with losing over 75 billion every year to increased absenteeism and decreased productivity due to grief. At the high cost of not providing adequate support during an employee’s most vulnerable time, employers may want to rethink their outdated bereavement policies… quickly!
Here are some things to consider:
1. Provide more time off. When we think of everything involved in the preparation and coordination of funerals – travel, arrangements, sorting out finances, etc. it’s overwhelming for a griever to have to navigate the negotiations with work on extending their time off while mourning their loss. According to research conducted by Empathy, it takes 540 hours or 22.5 eight-hour days to settle the affairs of the deceased, including arranging a funeral, claiming benefits, and managing assets. This does not include the time to grieve and heal from the loss. Facebook stepped up in 2017, doubling their bereavement leave to 20 paid days following the loss of an immediate family member and up to 10 for an extended family member.
2. Expand the definition of family. Many bereavement policies distinguish between immediate and extended family members which doesn’t reflect the unique relationships within families or friendships for that matter. It’s not out of the ordinary for friends to feel more like family than blood relatives, yet bereavement policies don’t often accommodate our individual definitions of family. I was devastated when the aunt who raised me died and grieved her like a mother.
3. Be flexible. Don’t make decisions for those grieving, take their lead. Grief is unpredictable and hits everyone differently. Remain open to an employee’s individual needs. Be ok with them not taking their full bereavement time off or needing an extension. If they want to talk about their loss, listen. If they don’t, respect their wishes. Some will want to take their time all at once, while others may prefer to take time off intermittently. My mom was in hospice before she died, so it was important for me to spend quality time with her in those final days. Having the flexibility to work from her bedside when I wanted and then take additional time once she died meant peace of mind and feeling cared for and valued by my employer during one of the most difficult times in my life. The experience made me determined to show up at an elevated level of commitment when I did return to work.
4. Offer Grief Counseling. Not everyone will take you up on counseling but it’s important to have it available in various formats. You can provide dedicated online resources as needed or special training for managers to support them as they support their teams. Or consider a companywide workshop to normalize the topic of grief and create a ‘safe space’ for employees to discuss and ask questions.
Whatever you do, taking steps like these sends a clear message that you care about your employees and are available as a resource during their most challenging times.
If you would like to learn more about how to update your company’s bereavement policies, hosting or attending a workshop on navigating grief in the workplace, or where to find reliable online resources, please contact me at monetfc@newparadigmsgriefrecovery.com.