Toxic Relationships

It sneaks up on us; quietly at first. One step at a time. But sooner than later,, we’re painfully aware of the toxicity of a relationship gone bad.

Did we ignore the signs? Hell yes! Every time I look back on a relationship gone bad, there was a sign, subtle maybe, but definitively a sign that I explained away.

I’m not advocating we throw away our lovers and friends at first sight of a problem. Just that we pay attention to those small stirrings within that signal to us something is not right. You don’t have to act immediately - just file the information and keep it for reference.

God whispers to us at first and when we don’t listen, the signals get louder and louder and before you know it we’re overrun by the Mack truck that was in the rear view mirror the entire time.

What would it look like if we took action just a step earlier than usual. Said goodbye to the friend that only seems to come around when we’re down but isn’t as available to celebrate our wins; or the boyfriend who offers ‘constructive’ criticism a little too often.

Would it feel like you’re jumping ship and abandoning a potential lifelong friendship or true love? How do we know when to cut our losses and end things before they get unhealthy?

Consider this:

• Do you feel more relaxed or like yourself when you’re not with them?

• Does he/she constantly play the blame game and it’s ALWAYS ‘your fault’?

• Are you constantly making excuses for their behavior?

Perhaps it’s time to cut the ties.

Monet Cole