Our Challenges Are Sometimes Spirit’s Invitation to Dig Deeper
Is there a recurring challenge you’re facing? You know… the one you think you’ve grown through. And then it surfaces yet again?!? Perhaps this is an indication that there is a deeper issue that requires more extensive self-reflection and awareness.
Often, we approach challenges intellectually, reading all of the books on the subject, taking classes, and talking it through with friends. While there is nothing wrong with this approach, there are some issues that require more heart than head.
As Solange’s lyrics to her song ‘Cranes In the Sky’ says:
I tried to keep myself busy
I ran around in circles
Think I made myself dizzy
I slept it away, I sexed it away
I read it away
These life lessons tend to be more complex and require more work than usual. They often demand that we get quiet instead of talking things through, or they might demand we become more transparent, with others and with ourselves.
Whatever the usual ‘fix’ is, it won’t work with this sort of challenge. It’s requiring more of you so you can gain a deeper understanding and take your life to a new level. Status quo just won’t do this time.
The key is in our emotions. Emotions are the language of our heart. Whether it’s anger, sadness, fear, rage, or guilt, there is a story they’re telling. When we attempt to intellectualize them, MUCH is lost in the translation. Trying to think them away is essentially refusing to speak their language. Instead, when you’re deciphering the messages of your emotions, go to your heart.
Here are a few suggestions to take your self-discovery and healing deeper:
Quiet the mind through meditation, prayer, deep rhythmic breathing, sitting in nature, taking a walk… whatever works for you.
Bring the current challenge to the center of your mind and notice the emotions that surface.
Acknowledge each emotion as it comes up without judgment and without resistance. There are no ‘bad’ emotions, they simply are what we feel. Things turn ‘bad’ when we act on them in unhealthy ways.
Take out your journal and write down each emotion.
Consider each of the emotions you wrote down and ask your heart why? “Why do I feel (fill in the blank)?
Let your heart give you the answers and take notes. You’ll know it’s your head and not your heart if you begin justifying, judging, shaming yourself or getting worked up. If this happens, repeat step 1 to quiet your mind and come back to this step once you’re there.
Next, determine if there are any beliefs associated with your ‘why's and write them down.
Reviewing the list one by one, ask yourself if the belief is true.
For each belief that’s true, determine if there’s anything you can do about it.
For the beliefs you can do something about, determine what that will be and write out your plan. This could be as simple as having an honest conversation or doing some inner work on reframing the belief.
If not, find your way to truly accepting what is. Accepting is not merely acknowledging the circumstances, but finding peace with it so you no longer suffer.
Repeat the process as needed.
You can always reach out if you need support - monetfc@newparadigmsgriefrecovery.com
From my heart to yours, Monet